


Missing What I Never Had

by orphan_account



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/M, Love Triangle, Unrequited Love, major angst, the Scamander boys are back at it, this hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23473924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Scamander boys love you. And you love them, just not in the same way. You’re in love with Newt and you know you’re going to marry him one day. And Theseus gets only the memories of what might have been. How can he miss something he never had?
Relationships: Newt Scamander/Reader, Theseus Scamander/Reader
Kudos: 16





	Missing What I Never Had

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry!

_10 seconds._

_1 minute._

_5 minutes._

_She’ll be here. It’s fine._

Then she did. And dear God, she looked lovely.

Y/N. Only a name like that could fit a woman equal to a goddess. A [powder blue dress](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Furl%3Fsa%3Di%26rct%3Dj%26q%3D%26esrc%3Ds%26source%3Dimages%26cd%3D%26cad%3Drja%26uact%3D8%26ved%3D2ahUKEwjGk9_TmN3gAhVXJzQIHau5BOUQjRx6BAgBEAU%26url%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Fwww.goodgirlrebel.com%252Faudrey%252Faudrey-hepburn-inspired-summer-sleeveless-light-blue-1950-vintage-retro-cotton-dress-waist-skirt-retro-big-swing-in-womens-skirt-dress-stepford-wife-pastel-blue-babyblue-sky-blue-dollar-collar-dress%26psig%3DAOvVaw0whU7nBT0zybOiPMIBqDTN%26ust%3D1551400804644168&t=ODdiNjY1MDVlMDVmZmNkZTRjMjM2Y2I3YjgwNDE0OGYxMDZiMDUwNixnSnB5bnpjRQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzC96VXN-kLuptyCccSdrAw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fjustawriterwithdreams.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182968386236%2Fmissing-what-i-never-had&m=1) flowed behind her as she looked around the room.

Then she turned and I saw her face. I could only stare at those loving, kind eyes as they scanned the room.

Eventually, those eyes met mine. And her soft, pink lips curled into a smile.

“Theseus!” My name on her lips almost ruined me. I ignored the pang in my heart and stood up to greet her.

“Hello, Y/N,” I replied softly. Suddenly, she took hold of me and wrapped me in a tight hug. I melted into her touch and laced my hands around her waist. She smelled like freesia petals and rain. Eventually, she let go and I followed, hesitantly. I pulled out a chair for her and sat down in mine.

“How are you, sugar?” she asked. I shifted in my seat. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and all of my old feelings for her came flooding back, despite my earlier attempts to break them down and bury them deep in my chest. 

“Sugar?”

“O-Oh. I’m alright, Y/N/N. How are you?” _You’re already done for, Theseus_ , I thought. 

“I-I’m really excited. You know, I’m back in town,” she answered, pure joy in her eyes. _If only I could stare in those eyes every night._ I imagined a life that she could be a part of. A life where she loved me as I did her.

“Y/N? Love, there you are.” Newt walked in the place. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“It’s ok, my love. Theseus kept me company.”

The fantasy crumbled before me. I missed it already. I allowed myself to miss something I never had.

“So, um, why are we here again?” I asked anxiously. I didn’t know how much longer I could bear being in the same room as my little brother with Y/N. My brother with his girlfriend. My brother with the woman I love. 

“Oh, right. Newton, should I tell him?” Newt gave her an enthusiastic nod. He kissed her cheek for encouragement. I slightly winced.

“Theseus, we have very exciting news,” she looked at me. But she would never look at me the way she looked at Newt. She would never look at me like I was the only person in the world—the way I looked at her. I took a long sip of my tea to hide my quivering lip.

“We’re getting married!” I choked on my tea and coughed. 

“Darling are you ok?” she asked concerned. She grabbed my hand and there I saw the [ring ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fsafe%3Dstrict%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D645%26tbm%3Disch%26sa%3D1%26ei%3DHwy9XO8m1ff6BPysieAD%26q%3Dtimeless%2Bsapphire%2Bengagement%2Bring%26oq%3Dtimeless%2Bsapphire%2Bengagement%2Bring%26gs_l%3Dimg.3...13281.15210..15401...0.0..1.431.1637.0j7j1j0j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.To386YIeGTo%23imgdii%3Dqjhddfd0Nk43dM%3A%26imgrc%3DxhlJuCF_aCLH_M%3A&t=YjhhMjQ2NzA0MDY3OTE0OTVjZTg1MGYxMjIxYmNmOGQ4YjExYmI2YixnSnB5bnpjRQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AzC96VXN-kLuptyCccSdrAw&p=https%3A%2F%2Fjustawriterwithdreams.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182968386236%2Fmissing-what-i-never-had&m=1)she was wearing. The ring Newt gave her. The initial shock subsided. Now, my heart was crushed by the disappointment seeping in.

“I-I… That’s… lovely. I’m s-so happy for the two of you,” I stuttered. The couple probably assumed it was from surprise, but really I was trying my hardest to hold back tears. 

“And I also wanted to ask you something, Theseus,” Newt asked me.

“Um, yeah. Anything,” I breathed out.

“Can you be my best man?” he asked, smiling with love practically radiating off of him.

After a large deep breath, I answered, “Of course I can, little brother.”

I dreaded getting out of bed that morning. It was the day. The day I [lost her forever](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fyoutu.be%2FzYTEb7fVdzw&t=ZDcwYTVlNzA2NzY2NjM2MTBjODY2OTE1NjU4MjllMmIzYjczYmQyNCxhYjVlOGEzNzA0NmM1MGI4ZjFhY2UxZTg0Mjk0NzlhODEyZWY4YmIw). The day she celebrated her love with Newt. Their wedding day. For months, I helped them plan the wedding. I felt so guilty for the way I felt about the bride, and in a way, helping with the wedding, adding onto my heartbreak, was my penance. I looked over the invitations, helped arrange the seating, planned the bachelor party. I even helped pick out flower arrangments with Y/N. She chose [wildflowers](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fsafe%3Dstrict%26hl%3DEN%26tbm%3Disch%26source%3Dhp%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D642%26ei%3D-h5vXNXhJOiL0wKH75qYDA%26q%3Dwildflower%2Bbouquet%26oq%3Dwildflower%2Bbo%26gs_l%3Dimg.3.0.0l10.724.3435..4393...0.0..0.104.1112.12j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.....0.STapxwFzxbQ%23imgrc%3DqBpKhkSmVs3x9M%3A&t=ODBmMjZjZTYzYjU5NDc2MzM5NDhiNDIzOTI0ZGUwZWQ3YzIxYWNhNSw2OWM5ODY5ODg4YWU2YjMwMTk4OTk1ZWJjNzNkNjI3ODUyMmM1NGEw). And it only made me love her more. And now the day I prayed that would never come, did. 

Finally, I pulled myself out of bed, put on my suit, and combed my hair. I left my house and drove to the ceremony. During that drive, I thought about Newt’s bachelor party. 

I knew Newt wouldn’t want an extravagant party, so I planned something simple. Just a couple of drinks at a bar with myself and Jacob. Newt could never hold his alcohol very well, so after a couple drinks, Newt went through a drunken flurry of emotions. He argued, laughed, and cried. Eventually, he sobbed about how much he loved Y/N. He told us that he loved her so much, that he wanted to marry her so much, live in a house together, care for magical creatures with her, and start a family with her. It was then that I knew that Newt was always better for her than I ever would have been. And that in the end, Newt and Y/N needed one another. They were perfect for each other.

As I stepped onto the altar, alongside Newt, I prepared myself for the inevitable. I prepared to let go. I prepared to say goodbye. 

Newt leaned over to me. “Thank you, Theseus. I really appreciated all that you’ve done for me all these years.” And in his own awkward way, Newt gave me a hug.

“You’re welcome, little brother…”

Then she came in. She looked so beautiful. Her [wedding dress](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fbiw%3D1280%26bih%3D642%26tbm%3Disch%26sa%3D1%26ei%3DTSdvXIvmLIeB8APp3Zn4Dw%26q%3Da%2Bline%2Blace%2Bwedding%2Bdress%26oq%3Da%2Bline%2Blace%2Bwedding%2Bdress%26gs_l%3Dimg.3..0l5j0i30j0i5i30l4.355745.363524..364301...0.0..0.112.1015.11j1......0....1..gws-wiz-img.......0i67j0i10j0i8i30j0i10i24j0i24.moiOPNsIoXM%23imgrc%3DjrvC3jIILwBQbM%3A&t=OTM5Yzc3YTIwNzZlM2Q3MmUwNWRkMGYwNzk2MTI0NDU4MWNhM2Q2Miw4NTFiY2ZhYTM1OTAyODcwYjUxYWQ0YzlhMDgwMzdlYTkzZTFkOTUy) trailed behind her dragging over the fallen blue petals on the floor. I managed to stop staring at her and looked over at my brother. He had tears in his eyes and a beaming smile on his face. He loved her so much.

When she made it to the altar, she held onto Newt’s hands and teared up. Eventually, they made it to the vows.

“Newt, I was always a hopeless romantic. The moment my eyes met yours, I knew I was yours and I thank my lucky stars they did. Granted, your eyes were right in front of mine because you fell on top of me, trying to catch your Niffler,” Y/N laughed, remembering the day they first met. Newt had fallen on top of her. I savoured her sweet laugh. “Before I met you, I never thought I could love someone as deeply as I love you. You mean more to me than anything has in my entire life. You’re my whole world and the stars in the sky. Every night I dream about you the future that we’re going to build together and every day I fall in love with you all over again. Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, never doubt I love you. I can’t wait to be your wife. And care for all your magical creatures with you.” By now, everyone had tears in their eyes. Y/N sniffled and Newt went on with his vows.

“Y/N, when I was younger, I never really connected with anyone and I was always so alone. But then I met you. And you opened up a whole new world to me. You showed me incredible things that I never would have known about if it wasn’t for you. I fell in love with you the moment I met you, but I remember the first time I knew I was going to marry you. You were feeding the baby Nifflers and you just held them like they were everything and you looked at them with a passion and love that I have never seen in anyone else. And I knew that I wanted to marry you. You were never afraid of what others thought of you and you always do things your way. You’re always ready to go on an adventure and experience new things. As we move on to the next step in our lives, I hope we’ll go on more adventures together.”

The two exchanged rings. “You may now kiss the bride.”

After the ceremony, everyone moved to the reception, where I gave a speech.

“Newt, you’re my little brother and I have always been so proud of you. But never as much as I am now that you found a girl who is so perfect for you. You make a lovely couple and I can’t wait to see the two of you grow together. Y/N, I remember the day I first met you. You were so kind to me, you were funny and charming, and I knew instantly that you were a wonderful woman… I am so happy for you and my brother. I hope you know how happy I am for both of you. I wish you well in your marriage.”

After that, I had to leave. I couldn’t stay in that room. I got a strong drink and walked out to the balcony. As I looked out at the view, I wondered what I was going to do from here on out. How I was going to move on.

“Theseus? What are you doing in here? We’re going to cut the cake soon. You shouldn’t miss out on that. I mean, you did help me taste like 37 cakes,” she giggled.

“It’s alright. I just want some fresh air. Go have fun,” I said quietly.

“Theseus, what’s wrong?” she pushed. She placed a hand on my arm.

“I’m getting over things,” I replied. I instantly regretted saying that, but she made me weak.

“Getting over things? I don’t understand,” she frowned.

“I-I loved someone. But I missed my chance,” I explained, bluntly. Maybe the drink was making me speak more freely than I had intended.

“Oh, sugar…” she cooed. “I’m sure you still have a chance. She’s still out there. If you love her, go to her. It’s only fair. And at least she’ll know and you can get closure.”

I paused for a long moment before saying, “If I had asked you on a date before Newt, would you have said yes?”

“I-I um, I don’t know…” she scrunched her eyebrows. “Wait, Theseus, am I…?”

I could only nod my head in response. “I’m sorry.”

“No. no, no, no. Don’t be sorry. It’s ok. I-It’s just how you feel. You can’t help that,” she assured and pulled me into a hug.

The tears in my eyes fell. I was trying to let go. I really was, but I gripped onto her harder. I loved her. I gripped onto something hopeless. We stood there, hugging each other for about ten minutes until Newt came out. She quickly let go of me, as if she had been caught doing something scandalous.

“Y/N/N? We’re about to cut the cake,” he said excitedly. “Oh, there you are, Theseus. Come on, we’re cutting the cake.”

“I’ll catch up with you guys,” I said to Newt. 

“You should join us,” Y/N replied sadly. Newt hugged her from behind and Y/N slightly flinched, as if she felt guilty. _I shouldn’t have told her._

“No, it’s alright. I’ll meet you there.”

“Ok, I’ll see you in there Theseus,” Newt answered. He and Y/N walked back in. I heard Newt whisper a small, “I love you,” to Y/N.

“I loved you too,” I said to no one—because she was cutting her wedding cake with her husband. But, she was happy. And that was all that mattered. So there I stood, alone. _But at least she’s happy._


End file.
